waiting for our restaurant cheque

When Lying to Your Waiter Is OK…Unless They Believe You

It’s been a bit of a stretch since my last pet peeve rant so I figured I was due. Not that I don’t have lots, I’ve just been happy to share a few kudos, guest blogs and business Q&As. Well that can’t stop some good old-fashioned complaining.

Dear Server,

Hi, I’m the guest of yours that just sat in your section for the better part of an hour. The meal was great, drinks enjoyable, service satisfactory….and service is the part I want to focus on. You came and went, offering specials when necessary, smiling the whole time. I wouldn’t say it was “above and beyond” but I was ready to tip out 15%. But then you blew it.

If I say I’m done, implying I don’t want anything else, you must understand I’m lying. There is something I want.

I want my bill.

I want to leave. Pay for the goods. Settle up. Vamoose.

What I don’t want is to wait. I don’t want to watch you while you talk to your co-workers. I don’t want to see you walk through your section repeatedly while some how not walking by my table. Guess what’s still happening? I’m still waiting.

And the longer I wait, the smaller your tip gets and the bigger my hatred grows. Should I spell it out for you? Do I need to say, “Just the bill, please?”

And you’re not off the hook if you do bring the bill but don’t come back. Sorry, I know you thought you did well figuring out my request, but I want to pay with cash/credit card/debit and I still need you for that.

Believe me, the longer I wait, the less I’ll need you…ever again.

Sincerely,

Your Customer

4 Comments

  • How very North American of you, Russel! You wouldn’t fare well in Amsterdam at all 😉

  • the worst is when they leave you the bill, but never come back to process the transaction!

    this one time, i was at earls, and the server finally dropped off the bill. we waited, and waited to pay. she was gone for abou 20min before i caught her behind us, so i grabbed her attention. her response was “oh, i thought you were going to pay cash.”

    two things: 1) why u assuming we were going to pay cash? 2) even if i paid cash, what makes you think we didnt want/need change?

    grrrrani.

  • the worst is when they leave you the bill, but never come back to process the transaction!

    this one time, i was at earls, and the server finally dropped off the bill. we waited, and waited to pay. she was gone for about 20min before i caught her behind us, so i grabbed her attention. her response was “oh, i thought you were going to pay cash.”

    two things: 1) why u assuming we were going to pay cash? 2) even if we paid cash, what makes you think we didnt want/need change?

    grrrrani.

  • My favorite wait staff are the ones that come back shortly after leaving the bill and casually ask “Does anyone need change or need to pay with debit/credit? It’s such a soft approach that gets straight to the point.

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