Welcome back to Relationships At Work – A leadership podcast helping you build workplace connection, improve culture, and avoid blind spots. I’m your host Russel Lolacher

I’m a communications and leadership nerd with a couple of decades of experience and a heap of curiosity on how we can make the workplace better.

This mini-episode is a quick and valuable bit of information to help your mindset for the week ahead.

Inspired by our R@W Note Newsletter, I’m passing on to you…

How Do We Know We’re Good Leaders?

Are we looking at the right scoreboard?

If you asked most organizations how they measure leadership, you’d probably hear about performance metrics: projects delivered on time, KPIs met, budgets respected. All important—but let’s be clear.

I’ve said it before on the show and in this newsletter: delivering is not leadership.

Performance measures are about the what. Leadership is about the why and the how. It’s the journey of creating an environment where people can do their best work, where they feel valued, and where trust is built over time. Leadership isn’t a final destination you check off—it’s an ongoing practice.

Yet too often, we as leaders end up chasing the wrong scoreboard. We define success by external validation—promotions, income, or recognition—without stopping to ask: what does successful leadership look like for me, and how do I know I’m on the right path?

It’s not surprising, it’s how those before us measured leadership. It’s generally easier to point to these metrics and go, “Look! ‘Leader’ did a thing!”. But we have to stop perpetuating this problem.

If we don’t define leadership for ourself, someone else will. That might mean our organizations quietly tells us success is meeting deadlines or avoiding complaints. It might mean our boss equates success with keeping problems off their desk. But is that really the mark of good leadership? Spoiler: No.

When we fail to self-identify, we risk becoming managers of tasks instead of leaders of people. We risk confusing efficiency with impact, and delivery with growth. By taking ownership of how we measure our leadership, we align our actions with our values, not just our job description.

Instead of asking: Did we deliver the project? we should ask:

• Did we help people grow while delivering the project?
• Did we build or erode trust in the process?
• Did the team leave more capable, more confident, and more connected than when they started?

These are harder to measure than numbers on a spreadsheet, but they’re the true indicators of long-term leadership impact.

The irony is that if you only measure your leadership by outcomes, you might appear “successful” while leaving behind disengaged employees, cultural debt, or missed opportunities for growth. That’s why it’s essential to shift the focus to the journey itself.

The Question: How do we measure our leadership?

The Action(s): Here are some ideas…

• Listen for Growth, Not Just Gratitude – Don’t just pay attention to whether people thank you for your leadership. Look for signs they’ve grown because of it. Are team members stepping into new responsibilities with confidence? Are they developing skills and self-awareness they didn’t have before? Leaders create leaders and growth in others is one of the clearest reflections of leadership success.
• Check the Temperature of Trust – Trust is the currency of leadership. Ask yourself: do people bring you the hard truths, or do they hide them? Do they share their ideas openly, or hold them back out of fear? Successful leadership shows up in the trust people extend you—not because you hold a title, but because you’ve earned it through consistency, honesty, and humanity.
• Align Your Actions With Your Values—Daily – Leadership isn’t about what you say in platitudes; it’s about what you do in moments of pressure. Measure yourself against your values. When deadlines loom, do you cut corners on people, or double down on supporting them? When conflict arises, do you avoid it, or step in with courage? Consistency between your values and your behavior is the ultimate scorecard. How did you handle COVID? How are you handling a shift to remote work? Great litmus tests.

Leadership isn’t a trophy we win once and display on a shelf. It’s a daily practice, measured not only by what we deliver but also by how we enable, empower, and connect with those around us. Delivery is still an important thing, it just can’t be the only thing if we truly value leadership.

So, when we think about your leadership, don’t just ask if you hit the target. Ask if we brought others along with us, grew in alignment with our values, and built trust that lasts beyond the next deadline.

Because that’s the scoreboard that matters.